I've been kind of stumped about what to write these past few weeks. I've started a few posts and never finished them. I can write about my family, my husband, my friends... my practice of Medium work... but I haven't been able to get anywhere. So I'm gonna try now.

I have had some opportunities to practice the Medium work. It's super neat and affirming when the client validates what I'm seeing in my mind's eye (a vision of skydiving, something my client who was widowed early on said she and her then husband always said they wanted to do together - since his passing she said she's put it on her "bucket list" kind of in honor of him and their relationship together; a great aunt who loved to sew and who is currently looking after her great-niece's house concerns in addition to describing her niece's favorite toy as a child; a father who regrets what he did to his daughter and seeking forgiveness as well as expressing appreciation). I am learning how to interact with the visiting Spirit, to get a message for my client, to ask specific questions and trust what I get. Some of these Spirits need to make amends with the living. Physical death doesn't resolve issues and that is a key role a Medium can play in these relationships. Kinda heavy stuff, initially I was so excited that I was "getting" people (Spirits), only to later realize "oh shit- not everyone is like 'Oh! Great to hear from them!' " They're not all happy reunions! Yikes! It just makes this work even more valuable for people who are carrying a burden of guilt or resentment with someone who has passed (or for those that have crossed over to express their new understanding of a situation that caused pain during their lifetime). I only wish I could have a new client every day for several weeks because I know that'll strengthen this ability of mine. I have had a sporadic few but soon hope to have a steady stream.

Even though to do these things feels like such a gift, I am also realizing that it takes time and effort to develop them further. Not necessarily "work", but effort and deliberate action. I think I'm kind of stalling it for some reason. Don't want to make the time... maybe I'm afraid of something? Something blocking me, some type of fear perhaps. I can't really put my finger on it, I just know that I haven't been making the time to practice practice practice. Maybe that's why (I know that's why) I haven't been writing on here as much. I was on a high, a charge... it's fizzled a little. "Connecting" in w/ Spirits can be tiring, it takes a TON of trust in self, you put yourself out there and you have to believe in what you get, and believe in yourself. Once you do all that and deliver the message and have it actually MAKE SENSE to who you're talking to it is super fulfilling. That sky diving message seemed so bizarre and out there... but the Spirit was very persistent in flashing this image across my mind - full on sky diving, goggles and all, free falling. I had to just blurt it out (after trying to ignore such an odd image!), you can't edit this stuff or you can miss a VERY important connection for the person you are reading. When she responded so normally to what I told her I almost was like "REALLY???" because I think I couldn't believe it myself!

It takes time, patience, practice and most of all TRUST. I need to muster it up because it really can be so rewarding. Having two kids, a husband and 2 cats and a 13 week old puppy leaves very little free time at the end of the day. Sometimes I just want to veg. Other times I just want to read the next awesome, inspiring book on my list (currently that would be "Home with God" by Neale Donald Walsch) ... laziness is a weakness of mine. I'd almost rather do nothing when given the opportunity (hence this instead of the sink full of dishes right now). I need to make the time in order to grow or I'll be stagnant! Aaaaahh! Oh well. It's all happening in time as it should, slowly but surely I'm chugging along, but I really look forward to having it even more together in the future!