Pulling at Roots
I have been feeling the pull to step more into my power. It’s always this way, we grow, get comfortable then feel the push to grow some more. In order to do that, we gotta push past what’s restricting us. Several weeks ago, I felt a root connected to something holding me down. I got the sense that IT felt it was “keeping me safe”. I tugged on this root and pulled it out of the dirt, I saw that it was thick and long and wondered “can I just cut it and NOT dig into where it came from?” Sorry girl, that’s not how this works. So I let the root down knowing I’d be given dribbles of guidance. I prayed for clarity knowing it’d present in due time.
A week or so later, I listened to a “cord-cutting” meditation. I didn’t seek it out, it fell in my lap from a program I’m enrolled in. I thought maybe it’d illuminate something for me as I began the session. I was guided to connect with whatever cords I was feeling still in my field and I noticed three coming from my heart. As I drifted asleep while listening to this, I got an image of an old bonnet- one which I recognized immediately from the first liftetime I’d ever connected with in past life explorations. In that life, it was pioneer colonialism times out west. The first message I ever had of that life was that my husband, even tho departed, was always with me. I knew he died young and I was left at this prairie house of ours without him. Soon after that, me and my husband in THIS life were on vacation in Oregon and took a pic in one of those cut out faces things at tourist spots. It was a pioneer couple. It didn’t strike me till after the trip that this was a healing from that life.
Many years later more details of that life emerged. Apparently my husband died of gunshot wounds, protecting our property. As he was passing away, in an effort to help save him I administered herbal remedies into his wounds. It was hopeless, but he left that life believing my remedies brought him harm. Seeing the cords from my heart in the meditation and seeing the bonnet in my mind’s eye brought me back to this life, knowing there was more unresolved things surfacing.
A few days after the bonnet vision I sat in direct meditation hoping to get more info. Connecting in I got “My work is not safe”. Not only did he leave this Earth at that time feeling I was responsible for his death, but apparently, I DID TOO. I connected in with that past life version of myself and assured her/me that “you did nothing wrong”. Apparently a thread of that was holding me back from taking this next step with growth on my healer journey- which 100% makes sense! But it was a false belief and it’s okay to let that go and allow it to heal over now.
Whew! As a healer, we have many lifetimes of repression, violence, accusation. This is just the next layer of clearing I can say I have under my belt. I will never be so arrogant or foolish to say that the work is ever done, because truly, it isn’t!