My (kinda sorta) Psychic Past

I'm thinking about my past, looking back at the different signs along the way that led me in this direction of Psychic/Intuitive Development. Unlike a lot of other psychics, I didn't have any sort of traumatic event happen to me as a young child that closed my third eye. No spirits or ghosts haunted me in my bedroom at night, adults didn't tell me that I was seeing things. I really have no recollection of anything like that occurring to me as a young child. I think if anything I had more fear about anything spiritual or supernatural. I was told 3am was the hour of the beast, so I did my best not to look at the clock if I awoke in the middle of the night. Someone told me that if the rocking chair was moving the devil was in it or had been in it. After seeing "Rosemary's Baby" I was terrified (what age I was I have no clue, I saw it again when I was like 19 or 20 and cried -- like an old stored up memory came to surface) and after seeing "Agnes of God" or some other movie where there was stigmata I was convinced I'd get them when I was older because I knew I was close to God.

As a child and still as an adult, I often experience deja vu. Just insignificant little moments where I remember my surroundings exactly as they appeared in a dream. One that stands out strong in my memory was a dream I had told my mother when I was like 10 or so. For some reason I mentioned the tiny details of this dream to her, and then a few weeks or so later it happened. She was with me in this deja vu moment and she remembered my dream and validated that for me. If I hadn't said so out loud to her when I retold the dream to her I could have easily talked myself out of it, but she definitely remembered it and that was wild!

In High School I got into Astrology and Numerology. My Dad worried about me getting interested in these topics, but I saw no harm in it. I figured even if it were all made up and wrong, at least it was challenging me to get introspective and figure out who I was. At that same time I was also fascinated by dream interpretation and handwriting analysis as well as ghosts and hauntings. Obviously I've had a long term relationship with being fascinated with things of the "occult". I actually don't like that word because it sounds dark and scary! And New Age to me just sounds wrong; it carries a flighty flaky kind of connotation and it's not new at all! All this stuff has been around for nearly forever! However the word "psychic" no longer bothers me... obviously, since I'm using it pretty freely these days. It used to carry that spooky, dark weight to it; but now I see it more simply without any heavy scariness attached to it!

Back in college I was given a box of Tarot cards from a friend for my birthday. I was a little scared at first since my Dad had always told me that they are tools of the devil (wonder where the "scary psychic" feelings came from?? ;) ). I got over that concern and began playing with them. I quickly learned that I was REALLY good at them! There was one card in particular that I connected with and I could pick her out of the deck at random, first try. It spooked me out a bit, though and some nights I wouldn't sleep with them in my bedroom! Nowadays I play with "Angel Cards". They are fun and less spooky than Tarot cards, although I don't fear the Tarot anymore. I just need to practice with them some more & get familiar with again them since it's been a while.

As far as Medium stuff goes, I have always felt very sure about the afterlife and our connection to it. I seemed to be comfortable with all of that as far as I can remember. Two weeks after my paternal grandfather died he visited me in a dream (I had just turned 15). I remember it clearly, he kind of just smiled and nodded and we hugged. I got the gist that he was saying "goodbye for now. I'm fine!" When I was 23 I visited family in Germany for the first time. Before I left for that trip I had a dream where my uncle (deceased 10 years) and I were walking along a tire track dirt road in a grassy field. I turned to him and said "hey, you're Uncle Ron!" and that's all I really remembered.

While visiting my aunt and cousin, I mentioned this dream and quickly realized the dirt road I was on in the dream was on her property there in Germany. We cried and were just amazed. It was awesome. Another time when visiting my maternal grandmother at her house I was standing alone in front of a wall of pictures that were of she and my Grandfather (who died years before I was born and who I now believe is one of my Spirit Guides) when they were first together. All of sudden I felt a strong, overwhelming comfort and company... I knew he was beside me. It was incredible.

Even after these different experiences I honestly never did expect to be communicating directly with Spirits (known and unknown to me) as a Medium! That much was a surprise and I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it and realize that it is happening and it is real!